Certain fashion rules, such as “no white after Labor Day” or “don’t pair black with brown or black with navy,” are outdated and sorta ridiculous. I can name plenty of times when each of those scenarios has had its iconic fashion moment. However there are also certain “unspoken” rules—rules for women both of a certain age and who might have children— that simply need to be followed by everyone.. in order to have a more aesthetically pleasing world.
Sadly, that’s not always the case. Mama fashion no-no’s are used and abused almost daily (especially on the outskirts of Manhattan; yes, I’m talking to you, Ms. Scrunchie-wearer) and it’s time to call them out officially, once and for all. Here is a list of the major fashion blunders that moms need to avoid at all costs:
Wearing Tights as Pants.
Everyone has days when you don’t feel like wearing real pants. I get it. But that does not excuse the usage of tights or thin leggings in place of actual pants. These items should only be worn as tights are intended to be worn– with your bum completely covered by either a dress, skirt or extra long shirt or oversized sweater.
Booty shorts, Hot pants, Daisy Dukes—whatever you call them. Regardless of whether or not you have the body of a supermodel, if your backside is exposed and coming out of your shorts, it’s just awful. Yes, motherhood is the time to appreciate cute chubby cheeks, just not those cheeks.
Teeny, Stringy Bikinis.
Now, I’m not saying that women who have ever had kids shouldn’t wear bikinis. I do and I haven’t even fully bounced back yet! But picture a mom chasing toddlers on the beach when an accidental nip slip occurs. Not cute or appropriate. Make sure you wear a suit that keeps everything covered, snug and tucked. Discretion, please.
Even at their trend peak, platforms really only looked good on the young, single ladies. Wear those out to a PTA meeting and you risk looking like the mom desperately holding on to every last bit of her fading youth (or a lady of the night, if you know what I mean). Time to invest in a cult classic pump, sandal, wedge, boot and ballet flat.
At this point you should always wear a bra and panties under your clothes. And if you have a top that won’t let you do this, chances are you should not be wearing that top to begin with. Same goes with the pants or skirt.
Some moms give up their style sense and slap on clothes dripping in logos, thinking this will somehow make up for a wretchedly comfortable getup (think: designer velour jumpsuits or yoga pants). Others may have a weird competition thing going on with other moms. Whatever the reason, know that the more visible logos you wear, the more it seems that you are trying to be/show something that you are not.
And there you have it ladies. Fashion faux pas that moms need to be sure not to fall victim to. Now let’s spread the word and get the offenders off our streets.